The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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