I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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