He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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