but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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