apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
