you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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