Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
