please come you make the beer taste better
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
