SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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