Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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