Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
