At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
