is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
