I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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