Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
