I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
