so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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