Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
