He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
