I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
