so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
