Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
