Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
