I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
