We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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