dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
