i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
