I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
