I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
