After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
