People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
