'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He has the fingertips of a God
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
