please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
