Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
