The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
