Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
