hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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