this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
