How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
