You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
