I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
