I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
