So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
