god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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