I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
