Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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