so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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