oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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