Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i've created a new STD.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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