If that was your dad, he is hot
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
